long sigh.

I know I've already written today, and I typically don't even write every day... but it's just one of those days.

Satan must be trying to KNOCK ME OUT today and really discourage me. And it was kind of working. I woke up and my neck, back, head, legs all hurt. Bad. I went to chapel, it was good today. I went to class and lunch. I got up to my room after lunch and my lungs hurt and my head was POUNDING. In addition to everything from this morning. Awesome.

And then it got worse. I had 2 conversations with 2 different people that just left me feeling horrible, like a failure, and just bad. There were tears. Luckily I was in my room where no one saw. After I gained composure I put on some waterproof mascara, which looking back was a good idea, and then started packing some more.

Then Stephanie walked in my door looking for Veronica, my scrubbing dishes thing that looks like a head... we named her yesterday. Steph is kind of one of those friends talked about in the last post. We were SUPER close and then had a bunch of ups and downs. We go to the same tiny school, live 5 doors down from each other, but still grew apart. We're still good, just not super close like we were. People here don't refer to us as a pair, or even associate us with each other, and are constantly surprised when they find out we knew each other before school and were best friends. But we still care. Thank God.

When she came in my room she could tell something wasn't right, and I was doing a pretty good job of hiding it [Cody says I'm terrible at hiding it, but this time I think I was doing pretty good] and she sat down on my bed and told me to spill.

So I did.

That waterproof mascara came in handy, because more tears escaped my bloodshot eyeballs. She told me that she could tell I was going to cry as soon as I started talking. I'm not even a crier. At all.

Right now I have a lot to be thankful for. But I'm especially thankful for Stephanie. And that her and Steve had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, that she had to do the dishes right then [and then decided after talking to me she really wasn't going to do them yet], that she could tell I was having a rough day, that she gave me a much needed hug. And I don't think it was all her... I'm thankful for a God that knows when I need some love, and He provides.

Sigh.

Leaving on tour Saturday at 7:30. Hopefully blogging throughout to keep people in the loop of where I am and what I'm doing. Please, please, please pray for the group, the churches, the traveling, the people that who could possibly hear about Jesus for the first time and the people that might need to reconnect, pray for focus, and patience. A lot of patience. At least for me, I'll probably need it. Thank you. LOVELOVELOVE.