Shoes.

I want my bible to look like my favorite pair of shoes. To be worn out to the point of no repair.

I want people to know it's my favorite book, without me having to say it. I want it to be blatantly obvious just because of their condition. I want people to tell me I should invest in a new bible, and that I can't use my old one anymore because not even duct or gaff tape holds it together. That if I don't buy myself one, they will because the one I use is so torn up and well read.

My bible does not look like my favorite pair of shoes. If it did I can only imagine how different my life would be.

I am going to jump into the Bible. With my favorite shoes on, and like a big puddle I want to get my feet wet and my hands dirty. I want it to affect how I live and what I look like. I want people to know, without me saying a word.

peter bartholomew furgerson

The new addition to my little family. I was stoked to get him when I went to WalMart on Monday, but they didn't have any. I was so disappointed. They said there would be a new beta shipment on Wednesday.

These have been the longest 2 days ever. I waited in anticipation, thinking about my little fish at every sentence.

Finally, Today I went back to WalMart and bee-lined toward the fish. Then I saw him, this cute little blue fishie. I name him Peter. I love him. I was talking to him in the store. It was beautiful and our love was strong. He was darting all around his little cup thing like a spaz and I knew I picked the right fish.

When I get back to the dorm I washed the vase I was putting him in and rinsed the marbles and poured in the new spring water. Then I dumped little Peter in. He looked so happy swimming around his new home. Then he started convulsing. No lie. My poor baby. I was so worried. On the phone with Cody FREAKING out. Then Jo [my RA] came in and I told her what was happening. Apparently the water was too cold so we had to go straight into Operation Rescue Peter. We put some spring water in my "N" coffee mug and microwaved it until it was room temperature, then Jo scooped little Peter out with her hands and said the water was freezing. So at this point Peter is in the mug, I'm on the verge of tears, late to meet my ride for Bible study, and freaking out still on the phone with Cody because I'm still scared I killed my fish.

I felt like a horrible mother. I dumped my fish into dangerous conditions. And then I abandoned him during Bible study.

After Bible study, I ran back to my room to check on Peter, he was still alive!! So then I started scooping out water from the vase, microwaving the water, pouring it back in, mixing it, and then repeating the process. Finally I got the water at the right temperature and I poured Peter back in, and he was alive and happy! Yay!! Hopefully he won't remember our first couple hours together and we can have a beautiful bond. I'm going to be a good mommy!

Also at WalMart today... I got a plant. It's not dead yet either. :]

dinosaur sippy cups.

Probably the greatest invention of my life. I spill a lot and make messes. These amazing things are SPILL PROOF! And they have dinosaurs on them. AMAZING! I'm really excited! The end.

nobody said it'd be easy

Well... I'm back at school. I'm so glad I'm back to my real life. Back in the dorm, not moved in yet. Back to my friends. Back to Rules, Regulations, and Respect. Back to drama. Back to curfews. Back to late night talks. Back HOME!

This semester has to be SO LEGIT though. No more slacking off. No sir.

GOALS:

1) Go to class. Do assignments early. Ask questions. Invest time and effort into my education so I can make the best out of my ministry.

2) Be healthy. This means no trips to MACDonalds or 711 after 8pm. Not eating fast food but MAYBE once a week. Not living off of ramen. Eating fruits and vegetables. Exercise. I know.

3) Be myself. Who cares? I like me. God likes me. Everyone else is whatever. I'll be happy and not get sucked into drama.

4) READ! Read the Bible, read books about God, read books about history, read, read, read.

5) Have Steph time. Be by myself sometimes. I miss that.

Hopefully I can achieve all of these. It's going to be a good semester. I can feel it! :]

real live grown up = stephanie lynne!

I am a real live grown up. Just now, as I was taking my antibiotic for yet another sinus infection in my life, I took my first Multi-Vitamin. The doctor told me that I should start taking them, so at Target yesterday I got some. Today, I made history. I took a vitamin. That wasn't shaped like a dinosaur or caveman. It is kind of sad that it's the end of an era and no more Flintstones vitamins for me.

I am growing up. It's scary. I get to drive people's children around places, in their cars. I get to sign my own paperwork. I can vote... well... you know... I can join the military. I can do so much big-girl stuff, even if i don't want to. Yet I still call my daddy when I can't get the parking break off or if I'm waiting in the waiting room for an hour. I call my mom if I don't feel good or if I don't know how to clean my Cinderella Waffle Maker.

I'll get there eventually. One day I'll be a full grown up and not just sometimes. But I think I can wait a little longer. That's too much responsibility for me!

Michelangelo Buonarroti

The Creation of Adam

Sistine Chapel

-Michelangelo Buonarroti

How beautiful? How intricately designed? How thought about? How meaningful? How magnificent?

The Creation of Adam is probably my favorite pice of art. All of it's meaning, all of it's relativity. God reaching as far as He can for Adam, who is barely trying at all and doesn't look interested at all in receiving the life God has to offer. Adam is blatantly created in the image of God, with God's beauty. Only God is elderly and Adam still looks like a youth, God has the wisdom of the ages, where Adam has none yet. Also, God's little cloud/bubble thingie He's floating around in is actually an anatomically correct human brain. It is insane how right it is. There are different interpretations, that it is a coincidence [doubtful when you realize how accurate it is], that God is a made up being that our brains created for comfort, it symbolizes God giving man intellect, that God is in complete control and knows everything while man doesn't, and so forth. I love the last one. Our minds were created to hunger for something more and made to worship. In this painting God is the most prominent feature in the brain, as He should be in MY brain and my life.

"Genius is eternal patience."

Four years. Painting. He didn't even like painting. He like sculpting. He had to learn techniques of a new medium. He had to do sketches and then recreate them on a CURVED ceiling for people to look at 60 feet below. And it STILL looks phenomenally accurate.

I fall more in love with this painting the more I look at it and study it. It really isn't just a painting, it's a true work of art. I love it. I love Michelangelo.

I really wish I had taken that art history class in high school...

bouncing balls

I'm kind of a nerd. My friends make fun of me a lot. I know, I'm the coolest person ever and I must be kidding, right? Nope. I get made fun of a lot. I'm kind of a spaz, I get excited about virtually nothing, I like eating Big Macs in the wee hours of the morning, I drink a LOT of coffee, and I play bouncing balls. The game on facebook you get all the annoying notifications that your friends are challenging you to? Yeah, that one. I thought it was THE DUMBEST THING EVER and I made fun of people who played and I absolutely hated the notifications I got all the time about some dumb game I didn't even play.

Then, one night in early November I was in Brittany and Dakota's room, which is where I can typically found when I'm not frolicking through Elizabeth City, and Dakota is an avid player so I asked her how I could play.

And then my life ended. Seriously. Over, done, peace out.

I played that night, I played in Biblical Backgrounds the next day, and I have been playing ever since. I used to be TERRIBLE and Brittany would laugh because I died so much, but now I'm pretty amazing at it... probably because it's taken over my life.

I've gotten others addicted too... one a poor innocent 5 year old. Guilty. Whoops. But it's really cute bonding time, he plays until he loses and then I play until I lose. Don't judge me. Cody is now addicted. Only he won't admit it. He always says he's "never going to play again" ...false. He gets mad at me when we're on the phone and I'm playing, because I'm obviously distracted... which I swear I'm not. I'm always focused on our conversation...

When I'm not playing bouncing balls I'm thinking about playing bouncing balls. At times when I really shouldn't be thinking about it. Then I catch myself and realize for the 23097203948235th time that day that I have a problem. I just finished my last game for tonight... unless I play one more [which will turn into a couple more...] game before I go to sleep. Even though I know I have to wake up early and actually take a shower and such... Tough life decision. I think I'll just go to bed... and that is not a lie!

break my heart

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

-hillsong

Do we really know what we say when we worship? Do we really mean the words we sing?

I am so blessed to live where I do. To be born and raised in one of the wealthiest counties in the world. To never ever have to worry about where my food was going to come from. To never questions the stability of my parents' jobs. I've never had to beg, I've never had to work, I've never had to live without. I'm spoiled. I'm blessed.

I wish I knew more about the poverty, slavery, genocide in the world. MOST people in this world only dream about my world. I'm a princess. But I'm a small minority. I am so thankful and feel so blessed to be part of my world, even though the vast majority of the time I take everything for granted and just feel entitled to more.

One of my resolutions [not a New Years Resolution, those are stupid and people never follow through on them] is to learn about the people of this world who have a daily struggle for survival. The people who don't know where their food will come from, where they will sleep tonight, what they are going to tell their children who don't have enough clothes to keep warm or shoes to protect their little feet from shattered glass and sharp rocks in the street, those who are in slavery, those who have never received love. I cannot keep pushing it out of my head. The more knowledge I gain, the more I can spread knowledge, and the more I can ultimately help the cause.

Here are some absolutely startling and heartbreaking statistics about world poverty. Take the time to read them. They are truly heartbreaking. Count your blessings. Give thanks. Many don't have the luxury of some of our daily "problems."

Here is information about slavery going on TODAY! There is an estimated 27 MILLION people in slavery, TODAY! I can't even imagine a group of one million people, TWENTY-SEVEN MILLION people are in slavery today, all over the world. Including in the United States. Each of those people has a soul, a brain, a smile. They are each loved by someone, even though they might not know it.

I'm going to dive in and learn so much about this issue. Nothing is going to be done about it if people are naive to the whole issue. My friends are going to get so sick of me because I'm not going to shut up about it. I want to learn as much as I can and spread as much awareness as I can. Do you think it's possible to go into the world and hug 27 million people, give them a giant mug of my special hot chocolate, and just cry with them? Because that's what I want to do.

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

-brandon heath

I'll have NO other.

I will waste my life,
I'll be tested and tried.
With no regrets inside of me,
Just to find I'm at your feet,
Let me find I'm at your feet.

I leave my father's house, and
I leave my Mother.
I leave all I have known, and
I'll have no other.

For I am in love with you,
and there is no cost.
I am in love with you,
and there is no loss.
I am in love with you,
I want to take your name.
I am in love with you,
I want to cling to you, Jesus,
Just let me cling to you, Jesus.

I say goodbye to my father, my mother,
I turn my back on every other lover, and I
Press on, yes I press on.
I say goodbye to my father, my mother,
I turn my back on every other lover, and I press on, yes I press on.

For I am in love with you,
and there is no cost.
I am in love with you,
and there is no loss.
I am in love with you,
I want to take your name.
I am in love with you,
I want to cling to you, Jesus,
just let me cling to you, Jesus,
I want to cling to you...

How freaking beautiful? To let Jesus be your all. Your only desire just to be close to Him? To learn from Him and grow closer to Him always? I want that for my life. But I'm not stupid enough to think that just because it's because I want it that it'll just happen with a snap of my fingers. I have to WORK for it. I have to give and take, good and bad, I have to jump into His teachings and life. Just like any other relationship you can't ignore it and expect the other person to draw close to you. You have to invest your time and effort. Saying "I love you" isn't enough, you have to back it up with action.

So many women want to be "so lost in God that a man would have to seek Him to find her" but how can you expect a man after God's own heart if you aren't truly lost in God yourself? I want this to be true of my life, I don't think I'm there yet... I don't even think I'm close. I don't think I'll ever fully be there. There is always room for growth, even if you've been a Christian your whole life. My Great-Grandma is 95 years old, and does a devo every single day. She has used the same devotion book for YEARS, it is quite literally falling apart. She doesn't know everything, she learns something new every time. How amazing. She has been tested and tried. She clings to Jesus.

I want to cling to Jesus. I want to learn more about Him every single day. I wonder what his favorite food was, would he drink Americanos or Chai Lattes? Maybe I'll have to wait til heaven for those questions. But there is so much i can learn now. I just have to care enough about him to make time for Him in my life, to hang out with Him, to bond, to be in love... just like I would have to do with a physical person. I want to sit at His feet and just lavish my love and adoration on Him. I hope I can be contagious with this. He's not boring, he's dangerous, thrilling, adventurous, strong, rebellious, loving, good, and he just wants to hang out with me while I drink my coffee. How cool?

say the line... my valentine

I watch a lot of movies. I'm quite the junkie. Especially the old classics, all the Disney princess movies, anything with Audrey Hepburn, and movies about friendship. There is something endearing about love. We were all created for it and we all want it, no matter how much we deny it. We want our fairy tale ending, where life all magically gets better. We get sucked into the reality of the film, care about the characters, want the best for them, are saddened when they are hurt. But that isn't our life and when the credits roll we have to move on and accept it for what it is, a script.

What if we let ourselves love like in the movies? Not even just romantic love? What if we just let ourselves be vulnerable to another human, invest ourselves in them, dive into their hearts, experience pain when they do, and laugh with them? Yeah, we'll get hurt and have pain, but without pain how can you fully experience joy? Without being hurt how can you really understand and appreciate love? I suck at it. Expressing my feelings, letting people know how much I actually care about them, being vulnerable and letting people in. I need to work on that, and I'm trying to get better.

February 2007 I heard this quote, "We stand in awe of the sunsets and the mountains, but walk by a person, God's most intricate creation, without even noticing," this is SO convicting. Read Matthew 25:31-45, Jesus talks about how when you invest and love others, especially the people that wold generally be overlooked, you are loving Him.

Stop. Ask people how they're doing, and care enough to actually listen. Invest in others. Make a meaningful life. Let those you care about know that you care about them and that you're thankful for them in your life. Be unashamed! Love. We can't expect a full life and our fairy tale ending if we're not willing to work for it. But think of how fulfilling it is to love others and put smiles on their faces.

"Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense." - e.e. cummings