deep breath...

today has been:

-encouraging

-stressful

-productive

-long

-tearful

-AMAZING.

love to all...

one day...

One day waaaaaaay in the future I want to be a mom. I want to be a stay at home mom, if it's financially possible, and do a bunch of volunteer work at church, in the community, and at my kids' school(s). I want to know the joys and trials of raising a child. I want to have fun moments like baking cookies, fishing at the lake, and spontaneous times of fun and goofing off. I want to help them grow into their own relationship with Jesus, one where they are strong in their faith and can lead others. I want to invest and invest and invest into them and pray that they have good morals and life views. I want to teach them about different religions, different world views and different lifestyles and hope they still learn the joy of having Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

I want to have dinner together every night. I want supper time to be a big deal. I want to be a close knit family. I want my children to always know it's God, their father, and then them. But I want them to know they are above anything else after that. I want to know the touch of my child, how soft the skin on their cheeks are when they first wake up. And how they smell right after a bath. And hear their first words.

Buuuuuuuuut, I can definitely wait. I am not trying to bring a living, breathing, mini me into the world anytime soon. I don't think the world could handle it. And I KNOW I couldn't. So I'll wait patiently, and think about the days when I won't just be "Stephanie" but I'll also be "Wife" and "Mommy." I want it to be a long way away, but it doesn't hurt to think of what could be within the next decade or so... I need something to look forward to :]

rant.

I think engagements should be a happy and special time between a MATURE, DEDICATED, RESPONSIBLE couple, along with their family and friends. If two people really know each other, care about each other, are mature enough to take their vows seriously and really understand what they are committing to, are able to provide for themselves independently, and have had conversations about the future and their goals and they match up, or conversations with older, more mature couples and learned from and grown from them I think that engagement will be blessed and joyous.

With that said, even if you have been together for three or four years, why rush to get married?! Why get bitter and irritated that your 18 or 19 and you've been together for 3 years so why isn't he proposing? Why follow the crowd and be unoriginal and take a walk to east campus and pop the question? Why not be responsible and loving and wait until you are out of school, stable, and mature enough to actually be in a healthy marriage instead of being impatient, not financially stable, and immature and jump right into a marriage before you have actually had a chance to grow up?

I understand that I go to Bible college... and this is all normal. Well I happen to think normal is stupid. ESPECIALLY if your parents are going to continue to pay for your school if they already pay for it, or if you have to take out massive loans to pay for not only your school, but that of your spouse as well.

Yeah, waiting may suck. It may take time. But if you are confident you are going to get married WHAT IS THE STINKING RUSH?! You'll have the rest of your lives to spend together? Why not wait until you can start it out with probably a little less stress, more responsibility, and more maturity?

And to everyone who encourages this stupidity, and all the parents who give their blessing... USE YOUR BRAINS. This is probably not the best option for your loved ones and children. Who are pretty much still children! Don't just tell them what they want to hear, they are still too young to make that kind of radical commitment, TELL THEM THAT!

Yes, there are exceptions, and I am happy for those couples... but really... is getting married so young really necessary? Find out how you are as a person, what your goals are, and don't rush through the steps of life just because you go to a Bible College and "everybody's doing it." Remember the old saying, "Well if everybody jumped off a bridge and plummeted to their death would you too?" Maybe plummeting to death isn't in there... but still... just because the majority of the school is crazy doesn't mean you have to be too.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife." -Mark 10:7

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." -Genesis 2:24

LEAVE FATHER AND MOTHER. Just because you're at school doesn't mean you have left your father and mother.

I just remembered something i heard at the end of last semester. It went something like this, "I'm here to become a minister, and to be a successful minister I have to be married, so I need to start looking for a wife." REALLY?! WHY ARE PEOPLE DUMB?! You can't go out and look for a husband or wife, they have to find you. People are dumb. And I want everyone at my school to read this, even though it would offend approximately 80-98% of the school. Why do I feel so outnumbered?